Thank you choir for being such a pain in the ass.

I'm so damn pissed off. Because it's the Common Test period and there is still choir practice. Why?

Because of National Freakin Day.

 Seriously I don't get the idiots who planned this. COMMON TEST IS A TIME TO STUDY AND NOW YOU WANT US TO STAYBACK... TO PRACTICE SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM?!
Don't get me wrong I love Singapore, but this is absolutely unecessary.
You think we cannot sing national anthem meh? You think after being here for 13-15 years still cannot master the national anthem meh? -.-
And the teachers expect us to manage our time well. WELL, BLOODY HELL CANCEL THE PRACTICE SO WE CAN STUDY!
You know what can be done in the wasted 3 hours? I can revise all the chapters of math, do practice on MOV, revise the history textbook. To be honest I almost cried out of fustration because i was super annoyed. Yes I''m a nerd okay.
Selfish asshole teachers in the NE committee. Now I hate choir even more -.-
Please lah, later everyone in choir fail their exams then everyone complain so how you explain. Assholes. I want to skip this practice -.-
Darling, this is NOT a concert/competition, no one will notice even if we make a small mistake. nobody even gives a damn about our singing -.- You think they music critics meh?
I'm far more concerned about MY GPA than CHOIR PRACTICE. Yes, I'm self centred you think I so dumb dumb truthfully accept what they ask us to do meh? I asked my mum to write a complaint letter to the school to show her anger to these dumb practices (actually she was more amused than angry) but she said she had put in my name, which is embarrassing -_-
So bo pian loh.
Yes, I hate choir
^For you to see clearly lol.
Seriously it's god damn propaganda. I don't understand why people have so much passion in choir. When I see their twitter/formspring/blogger bios they are like "Singing in __choir :)" Or "Choir is the best CCA everr :)" "Choir♥"

*PUKES* 
What happened to them? Sing until siao already *_* Or influenced by propaganda.
Ok firstly they put so called inspirational quotes from random websites. Like
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act but a habit"
O_O

I also can make chim quotes too: "The universe is made up of elements of simplicity than complexity" 


I found a better quote "Stupidity is 99% ridiculousness and 1% retardness"  (my favourite)

Guess what? Both is I say one :D 
I'm so intellectual right?  ;)
 

Probably the most emo post.

Today was one of the days where I felt like total crap and worhtless.
Firstly I missed Angel's birthday celebration because of my stupid PT. No matter how much I hate choir, I will never skip PT. Why? Because the seniors will confirm hunt me down one and I will gg.
And I felt really left out after that after the celebration because my clique of 5 people were all eating brownies with marshmallows skitlles oreos, taking jumpshots, playing balloons in class/at the canteen while i was FUCKING RUNNING 2.4KM
And I feel so left out because they had so much fun. Without me. So much fun.
I bet they hate me for not "ponning my CCA for once just for my bestie."
EH HELLO YOU THINK I CAN 随便 PON CCA MEH. 

 

And I feel jealous all over again. Seriously, it must be fun! I saw the photos they took, at felt so regretful. I must such be an asshole for not attending my bestie's celebration, plus this may be the last year we will be in the same class ;'( And it will never happen again.

And I felt like the whole group was against me (except angel and angeline) and was in a way pissed with me wtf. And mostly I couldn't help it! That's what hurts.

Next, my friend's father was in a coma and maybe he could not make it (in the same clique) which made things worst and even more emo. I heard her crying. Then later her other bestie was about to cry too. I was really freaked out because my close relatives never had a stroke/cancer whatever before. I feel so superficial now for fussing about my weight/height and other shit stuff that don't matter. Sometimes we miss out the simple things in life that actually play an important part. Like when failing a test, actually we could just work even harder but myself and my parents react as if it's the end of the world and begin the story of "how i'm going to end up in a polytechnic if i don't work harder"

And I got a 20/30 for my chengyu test. Sigh this means other people have a 10 mark advantage over me in the CTs. I guess that's the price to pay for only studying  1 week before the test #striveharder.

Sigh, I almost cried just now because of this whole incident. I feel like everyone's life is SO MUCH BETTER without me and I feel pathetic and pitiful. And I get affected by small things so easily. Why can't I appreciate? Why can't I just grow up? What's wrong with me? I feel everything's tumbling down now. I bet my friends secretly hate me sometimes for being so blunt and crude. Oh well, life goes on. Keeping my mouth shut from now on.

One day I feel like I'm at the top of the world and the next day I feel like total crap.
Or in shakespheare's words:
:In soothe I do not know why I'm so sad. :'(


^Present I bought for angel



 I later texted angel about how uncomfortable I was with everything now.
Thank god I could rant to her without being criticized. And she'll keep her mouth shut too. :)
Thank you angel for being my bestie since day one of school <3<3<3 although we had a fair share of ups and downs, thank you for staying with me, having really stuppid jokes, bullying me (in a fun way), guailanning me. :)
And this is the first time we zilianed after being besties for 1.5years wtf.

Shall end with this photo of angeline, me and angel. 

The urge of wanting to be thin.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/-seeking--thinspiration--part-2----%E2%80%9Cthinspo%E2%80%9D-girls-and-their-secret-cult-of-self-starvation-.html

 http://sg.news.yahoo.com/seeking-thinspiration-part-3-%E2%80%93-fighting-the-war-against-thinspiration--.html

I decided to write this post after reading the above article. So qiao right seeing these articles right after saying that I want to lose weight. :x

Basically this thing is about teens wanting to become thin and being part of the thinspiration group and become aneoroxic and bullimic blahblah and how media portrays fat people in a bad way.

Well I think this is kind of true. Why would you want to be friends with a morbidly obese person who is ugly?! You would rather be friends with a skinny and pretty person right? Admit it, you said yes. Anyone who said no is obviously lying. (Unless you are the type who wants to appear prettier and skinnier in front of your friends, I don't know what to say)

When you see a fat person right in front of you, your brain will immediately make judgements like "Omg she's so fat and she must be clumsy and such a dorky idiot that is outdated and unpopular. If I ever become best friends with her my reputation will be ruined!"

Ok lah, maybe not that mean and shallow like maybe you'll treat them differently at first?
Of course you don't say it out loud, but you just keep it to yourself.

 It is 100% impossible to not  to judge someone. Your brain is automatic. If you are fat, it'll probably  give an impression that you're too lazy to exercise, eat too much and are clumsy.

So, for people like me who are ugly and fat? What to do? Cannot do plastic surgery/make-up, the best way is to LOSE WEIGHT.

Another reason for losing weight is because as girls, looking good is the most most important me (at least to me) ;) We all want to have a good figure so we can look skinny in our clothes. And ever since the invention of clothes that are meant to reveal your figure, there is a pressure to look pretty and slim.

Why are SKINNY jeans invented?

To flaunt your SKINNY legs :)

Why are bikinis invented?

To flaunt your hourglass figure, duh! 

Why are crop tops invented?

To openly show you have a flat stomach!

Why are low cut tops invented?
To show off your boobs

Why are tank tops/tube tops invented?

To show the world your skinny arms and cute collarbone ad shoulder bone (YAY I HAVE THAT :D)

Why are shorts invented?

To show your long and skinny legs and tighs! (which I obviously don't have but I still wear them) *shameless idiot*

Why are tights/knee high socks, short skirts, short dresses invented?

SEE ABOVE.

I'm sure those people who invented those clothes were probably skinny scumbags and wanted to disgrace those poor fat people, ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH SHORT AND FAT LEGS :'(
I wanna lose weight until i can wear knee high socks without letting the sock break when I pull them up (yes i swear they would do that if i tried wtf)

I'm happy with healthy dieting. I must go vegan. Must. For now. The diet hasn't been working well... so urgh.. i'm gonna delete my dieting apps. They are useless.

Actually i think it's better if there are fat people. I'm sure it feels good to piss fat people off by complaining they are fat when they are underweight wtf (many skinny people are like that) Then you will feel better when comparing yourself to other people. :D

And when people tell you: "Omg you're so skinny already!" It feels good too. It's like fishing for compliments -.-

I think probably some of my clique members hate me for going on a diet when they think i'm so skinny. And when i said I want to go vegan, they say: "IF YOU TALK ABOUT THAT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. YOU'RE THE SKINNIEST AMONG US LEH."

Because of that, I shall learn to keep my mouth shut.

Still hovering at 44 even after 2 weeks of trying to lose weight >.<

Being vegan for half a day

Yes, I went vegan from morning till 7pm (during dinner)
And I definitely ate healthier because being vegn immediately cuts out all the fried stuff (fried chicken, fried nuggets blah) You hardly see fried veggies anywhere right? And to be honest, vegetarian meals are the best food I've ever discovered so far (other than mcdonald's and chicken)

For once I actually tried the vegetarian food stall in my school. This was my first time eating it after being in the school for freakin 1.5years wts. The food was not bad because I personally like broccoli. I KNOW I'M WEIRD SHUTUP. And I heard broccoli improves mentabolism so you won't get fat easily - as said by some random website. And I also ate some scrambled egg thing - which i considered vegan because it doesn't contain any meat xD I know I cheat lah.

Breakfast: Choco croisant wit almond, milk

Morning snack: Milo (Not a snack but still)

Lunch: Half a bowl of rice, broccoli and scrambled egg

Lunch snack: NONE. I HAD CHOIR AND I WAS STARVING TO DEATH.

Dinner: Rice, egg with minced meat (Yes finally meat), broccoli (again -.-), fish, soup and tofu.

But the thing is vegan food won't fill your tummy. Like I ate my lunch at 11.45am and I started getting hungry at 2PM. Then it disappeared and came back at 5.30PM. Thank god choir prevented me from snacking :) I'm really proud of myself yayyyy xD I'm going to celebrate by eating MC DONALDS TMR FOR LUNCH :D Hurray. So ironic. Will be gaining back all the fats.

I think I will be eating vegan food if I have the chance to eat lunch at school. It's cheap somemore - my meal cost only $1.50 AMAZING RIGHT? Zzzz today me and my 5 friends were talking about weight then i talked about losing weight then everyone scold me and ask me shutup because i so skinny liao and they feel like pigs walking next to me -_- BUT THEY ARE TALL!!! Like 164cm asdfghjkl. Almost can be popstar/air stewardess/model liao.

I think whenever I eat healthily I'll be happier because I'll be thinking about the extra calories I have saved. ^^ Really. It works. Don't think i'm mad.

Is today eat healthy day?

Is today eat-healthy-day? Because the meals I ate today contained very little fat. And none of them are fried ^^

Breakfast: Peanut pancake (the healthy one from coffeeshops)
Lunch: Measly rice, 2 pieces of chicken breast without skin, spoonful of bean sprouts, raddish soup
^Looks like some prison meal lol. Because the other options were some weird green veggies and fish.
Dinner: Rice, scrambled egg with prawn, a piece of capsicum (wtf right), codfishhhh! ^^ And weird herbal soup with mushroom. 3 quater of an apple.

SEE I SO HEALTHY RIGHT. THIS LOOKS LIKE A FREAKIN DIET PLAN.
I actually lost 0.3kg, down to 44.6kg. Yes wtf i became fatter. It's a miracle if I could drop to 43 now! But i think I ate a lot of snacks: Bakkwa, a handful of popcorn, half a vanilla cone, half a prok floss bun T_T if only without the existence of these snacks I would have lost more weight! :(

Actually I don't mine eating like this daily if I could lose weight, i mean it's not that bad actually, it's actually quite filling and you'll feel good eating less :)) And I realised I'm freakin 156cm (as told by my friends because I look taller than people that are 154cm) FYEAH! I'm underweight now yayyyy ^-^
Actually I think the way they calculate your BMI is totally outdated lorh. I think Asians are naturally skinny or something so 40% of the people around me are underweight or smth. Like how could some super fat people be just nice? I think that standard is for adults. If I don't lose weight now i may become fat later when i grow up. Better to lose weight now right!

By the way i'm NOT anorexic/bullimic. This is just losing weight healthily by eating less and exercising more ^-^ I'm not going on cabbage soup diets/ banana apple diets shit. NO. I don't puke my guts out in the toilet bowl. I don't starve myself. Thus, I'm not mentally depressed so please don't ask me to go to a hospital or something -_-

I realised the tip to losing weight is...drinking more water! Drink water to make you full. It can replace snacking. And convince yourself like "Never mind, you can eat in 2 hours!" or "Remember you wanted to lose weight?" Drinking water is a healthy option too. And it has no calories whatsoever.

I do not bond with science.

Get the pun? You know covalent bonds and bonding and stuff? No? Never mind.
I really have a disliking for science. I'm not a science person. I have bad experiences with science since primary school. #ForevergettingBinScience (Except for PSLE)

Why I hate science:

1)My science teachers this year are boring/annoying/noob/ahpek blah blah.

My bio and chem teacher isn't that bad. Except he's a dad and dads are.. boring :/
And now I'm really struggling with physics. Because i've been hating physics the most since last year and the teachers are simply..indescribable. So basically there are two teachers. One is a trainee teacher from NIE, let's name him O, and the other one is some supposedly "experienced" teacher who is in his 50s(?), let's name him P. Firstly I'm sorry, but I don't like trainee teachers because you don't know if he knows his stuff or not or just making it up due to inexperience. Just can't trust them, you know?
And P is plain annoying. He's super discouraging lorh :( Because during science practical we were doing some pinhole experiment on light and he saw me drawing a diagram wrongly. And you guess what he said. "IF YOU DRAW LIKE THAT I'M GOING TO FAINT YOU KNOW".
Which reminded me what happended in Primary 4. I drew the light rays wrongly and ended up tearing a hole in the paper (Yes i'm awesome right) and the teacher told me "I SEE YOUR DRAWING WANT TO PUKE BLOOD ALREADY"
-_- _|_
FUUUUUUUUU.
Why do all science teachers insult me?

Am I such a nusaince to their love of science? (Especailly physics) Hi science retards I don't care if I violate the law of light -_-

Thank you, and I hope you puke blood/faint. It's so heartbreaking for a student to hear from the teacher that he/she sucks. Teachers are getting too fucking sarcastic now. Now i get very scared when P walks by because I'm scared he'll critique my work, and curse WAHLAO EH, and announce it to the whole class so they can share my pain.

2) Because of Research Studies

So in our school we have this Research Studies component and had to choose our subject to conduct research. So i was thinking "Hmmm Science sounds interesting perhaps i shall choose that"
SMP is totally stupid. I mean to a person who is bad in science and can't think of brilliant experiments.

And what's worse is that my members aren't very brilliant in science too. They all got Bs for Science which is quite bad in typical kiasu Singaporean standards wtf.

Anyway my group member argues over the smallest, unecessary things (she's my best friend i love her and hate her at the same time)

One time we got 10/15 for the milestone check. To be honest it wasn't that bad considering our experiment only took 1.5 hours and was TOTAL bullshit. Our experiment was collecting water from a river, pond and tapwater then see its acidity and count how many drops of acid it takes to neutralise it. Yes i know it's super crappy and other groups are doing some newspaper recycling and detergent lemon and decomposing and god-knows-what.

And then the mentor said: You know it isn't very good. Have you read the rubrics?
Friend: I HAVEN'T RECIEVED ANY EMAILS!
Teacher: Well i'm sure your group members shpuld have recieved it!
Friend: HAVE YOU RECIEVED IT?!
Me and other member: Er.. No..

The truth is we recieved the email probably but i think i was too lazy to open the email so i deleted it. *sly smile*

And later my friend started scolding us

This, this explains my hatred for science.

Thank you. I'll never do anything related to science. I'll be an English teacher xD

The ironic world.

Lesigh. Watched this video during geography lesson because we were learning about the production of food. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

I'm disgusted at how the farmers kill the animals. I used to think killing of animals was just using a knife to cut the animals. But no. Yes be amazed by how naive I am.

And about 3 quaters during the video, 2 people went to the toilet because they were too disgusted. Then later another 2 people went to cry in the toilet -_-

Actually to be honest, I didn't feel horrendously depressed, I didn't feel like crying, I didn't feel like puking. Yes it's disgusting but actually you HAVE to accept the truth. Humans are omnivores and thus they have to eat meat and plants too. it has been like this since long long ago. Most humans can't go without meat. Most animals were meant to be ate. If vegans hate on normal humans, they should just hate on freakin lions or tigers who eat more meat than us.I'm planning to give up on beef and mutton(since it's not even tasty in the first place) so be proud of me :D

I will never go vegan. Never. It's impossible for me too. I mean how could you survive without the taste of tender juicy meat melting in my mouth. How the fuck could you survive by only eating greens which have little taste and hardly fill you? Yes I like salads but you can't help but hope it would be better with a bit of CHICKEN. I really love love chicken because it's good. I always eat chicken at mcdonald's, I always eat chicken at KFC, I always eat chicken at subway. Ok I'm really mean to chickens.

What I'm trying to say is that, yes, killing animals is "inhumane and cruel", butum, isn't that what animals are supposed to do? Because carnivore eats omnivoire, and omnivore eats herbivores. Right? Humans can't help it but eat animals, because they contain protein and protein blah blah. But maybe they could insert sleeping pills into the animals' water so they would die of too much pills and rest in peace. ^^

Epilouge:
Ok now the ironic part. My fat (OOPS SORRY OVERWEIGHT) friend cried during the video and I'm like "Wts why would my friend who loves meat cry over this video" And you know what she was eating later during recess?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
 

CHICKEN PIE!!! SURPRISE.
Obviously this still doesn't change my opinion on fat people. A leopard never changes its spots.
This is really stupid because 1 minute you're crying over dead animals then later you're the real doof eating dead animals. #okcan.
And although i'll never go vegan, I'll still try to eat less in order to lose weight ^-^ Gonna challenge myslef to be a vegan for a day tmr!

I hate everyone.

Today I was extremely pissed at my mum. Because she called me ugly.
Ok she called me 不美 which is not beautiful in chinese which also means she's implying I'm ugly.
This was because we met my primary school aqiuantance while walking home. Yup, she was quite pretty and tall and stuff. And later she's like "She's so pretty compared to last time"
I tried to talk back by saying "So? Being pretty is not everything. I'm smart what." (Yes I am i'm in one of the top 10 secondary schools in Singapore)

"Aiyo, you failed your math quiz, also so bad in your results, your communication skills also very bad, you also not pretty, how to suceed?'

And I got fucking fucking fucking pissed because of this comment. Which stupid mum will insult her daughter?

1) If you call me ugly, YOU are also ugly.

Why blame me? You gave me my genes so to create this ugly daughter Your fault lah. SO WHAT IF I'M UGLY. I HAVE MY INTEGRITY. SO? Ya I have an ugly nose, small eyes, fat face. SO? Because you gave me the genes, too bad.

2) Just because I failed a math quiz it isn't the end of the world

Yes I failed a math quiz, 6/15. And now she's trying to insult me for everything just because of my math quiz. Mind you, it's a mth quiz and how much diff will it make? Measly 2% of my overall grade? Calm yo tits. And now she's making the STUPIDEST assumptions  "Oh, you failed your quiz thus you're irresponsible." "You failed because you're lazy and don't bother to study."

Yes I failed my math quiz. But what you didn't see is the A* I got for my recent Math assignment, the 21/30 I got for my newspaper report, the 20/30 I got for my essay. Even my LA teacher praised me. (No i'm not lying) I'm trying to improve. I'm not as clever as the smart-ass people above me, but I know i'm making progress.

3) Fuck you, I'm smart.

Although I only got 248 for PSLE, but I'm in a top school and I'm doing okay. Yes, actually I didn't expect to do well with the smart asses getting 258s/262s for PSLE but I did okay. My GPA is 3.2 (above the 3.18 average). What else can you say huh. If I'm dumb consider the thousands of people below me okay. 

4)Beauty is not everything -_-

What if you are pretty, what if you are slim? If your personality is ugly then no one will like you! Yes I have fat tighhs but I'm proud of my 23 inch waist. :) Haha suckers. I have a fat face full of pimples but at least I have nice arms (What the hell) 

Yup that's all about my ranting. I'm not trying to scold/curse my mum. Don't judge! I'm just trying to defend myself. Not saying that my mum is wrong or anything, but sometimes she really makes the stupidest comments that make me outright annoyed. Ok bye. Yup, hate on me for all you want. -_-