Firstly I missed Angel's birthday celebration because of my stupid PT. No matter how much I hate choir, I will never skip PT. Why? Because the seniors will confirm hunt me down one and I will gg.
And I felt really left out after that after the celebration because my clique of 5 people were all eating brownies with marshmallows skitlles oreos, taking jumpshots, playing balloons in class/at the canteen while i was FUCKING RUNNING 2.4KM
And I feel so left out because they had so much fun. Without me. So much fun.
I bet they hate me for not "ponning my CCA for once just for my bestie."
EH HELLO YOU THINK I CAN 随便 PON CCA MEH.
And I feel jealous all over again. Seriously, it must be fun! I saw the photos they took, at felt so regretful. I must such be an asshole for not attending my bestie's celebration, plus this may be the last year we will be in the same class ;'( And it will never happen again.
And I felt like the whole group was against me (except angel and angeline) and was in a way pissed with me wtf. And mostly I couldn't help it! That's what hurts.
Next, my friend's father was in a coma and maybe he could not make it (in the same clique) which made things worst and even more emo. I heard her crying. Then later her other bestie was about to cry too. I was really freaked out because my close relatives never had a stroke/cancer whatever before. I feel so superficial now for fussing about my weight/height and other shit stuff that don't matter. Sometimes we miss out the simple things in life that actually play an important part. Like when failing a test, actually we could just work even harder but myself and my parents react as if it's the end of the world and begin the story of "how i'm going to end up in a polytechnic if i don't work harder"
And I got a 20/30 for my chengyu test. Sigh this means other people have a 10 mark advantage over me in the CTs. I guess that's the price to pay for only studying 1 week before the test #striveharder.
Sigh, I almost cried just now because of this whole incident. I feel like everyone's life is SO MUCH BETTER without me and I feel pathetic and pitiful. And I get affected by small things so easily. Why can't I appreciate? Why can't I just grow up? What's wrong with me? I feel everything's tumbling down now. I bet my friends secretly hate me sometimes for being so blunt and crude. Oh well, life goes on. Keeping my mouth shut from now on.
One day I feel like I'm at the top of the world and the next day I feel like total crap.
Or in shakespheare's words:
:In soothe I do not know why I'm so sad. :'(
^Present I bought for angel
I later texted angel about how uncomfortable I was with everything now.
Thank god I could rant to her without being criticized. And she'll keep her mouth shut too. :)
Thank you angel for being my bestie since day one of school <3<3<3 although we had a fair share of ups and downs, thank you for staying with me, having really stuppid jokes, bullying me (in a fun way), guailanning me. :)
And this is the first time we zilianed after being besties for 1.5years wtf.
Shall end with this photo of angeline, me and angel.
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