Weight loss journey (part 2)

It's almost been a month.. Not really making progress but getting the hang of it.
Now I'm 43.8kg. At least now I'm below 44. But I really wanna go to 42 :( my weight when I was sec 2.
Well although it's only about 2kg of weight loss at least I lost 4% of my body weight? (Yay.)
But I'm really sad now cox yesterday I ate with the girls at Thai Express and really ate alot :( Oh no. And somemore I didn't feel full when all of them were full. Obviously my appetite is quite screwed.
Cannot eat carbs anymore. Cut down my carbs by a lot and now for dinner I eat less than 3 spoons of rice. Oh man, now it's even harder to lose weight during the holidays cox obviously I have to cut down on meals without my mum noticing.. Or else she'll just slaughter me for dieting.

PLAN: Eat as less as possible during choir camp. Shall eat a cereal bar for lunch with fruit only since no one will really monitor me outside school lol *_* Then I won't be able to snack cox there's choir. Ok I can do it.

Shall eat 饭菜 for the rest of the days for lunch and only eat broccoli, long beans and egg. YAY.

Let's hope I can be 42kg by the end of April :)) I'm going for a medical check up on 26 March so must lose weight by then *_*

Have been feeling damn cranky these days. Perhaps it's the lack of food. I got quite pissed whenever someone gives me more food. Really ruins my diet plan although I know they mean well and I keep thinking their trying to ruin my plan, i know I'm mad. Also, I get especially angry when people remark "YOU EAT SO LITTLE AH?" or "YOU ON DIET AH?" So what, like it's your business? I hate people poking into my food affairs and making comments on what I eat. It's rude. And then when I felt like I ate a lot I would be super moody at myself. Going crazy. I always get angry on Saturday cox it's my aunt's tuition. Her tuition starts at 5pm ends fucking late at 8pm. She thinks I'm okay with eating late so I got damn pissed. I mean it's a good thing that I get to skip meals but the problem is I have to eat dinz after that so that means I'll have bloating wtf. SO yeah, I think dieting is ruining my mental health. And no, I have no mental disorders, perfectly fine.

I think I really look damn fat. I hate my legs and my stomach. My stomach is still as flabby as ever and I need a flat tummy. I will continue to lose weight untio I get a flat tummy plus I reach my 42kg goal. I really hate my legs. I'm a pear shaped body so I have wider hips = thicker thighs = fatter legs. Sigh.

Shall do weight loss tips until I lose weight successfully HAHA.

And I'm glad I passed the audits :) But the comm said it was temporary so the conductor has the right to take us out WTF. He said we can't be too happy unless we thought we performed our best during the auditions. And then he kind of contradicted himself by saying that the people who didn't pass shouldn't feel bad -_- So serious for what.

It's like giving us a cake. And then this stupid guy says that although you will have a chance to eat the cake, the cake may just splat on your face or they may just take your cake away -_- Ok someone give me a good analogy.

And I'm really not coping well with my school. I failed my Chinese test, my LA is terrible, my physics and Bio are okay, my chem is one of the lowest in class :( I just can't stand the disappointment when I recieve my results. Why do I score lower than those who studied only the day before? I really put in a lot of effort.

Cried don't know how many times this year. Sigh.

How I spent my Christmas

This year's Christmas was..meh, nothing much, just an ordinary day. Only had one simple dinner celebration at my Grandma's house.. Didn't receive much presents cox we don't really take Christmas as a big deal.

Was lazing around the whole day during christmas with my ipad. Was playing some karaoke games half of the day and then sleeping and then eating. Yesterday = totally wasted. :(

Anyway, the stuff are recieved are: Angbaos, a purse, some bath stuff and a pair of oxford wedges from new look <3

Btw, why would anyone send bath stuff to me? DO I STINK?!

I love the oxford wedges and I belive we were fated to meet lor! Seriously, there were only 3 pairs of them left and 2 were size 38! And my feet is size 38 so I believe that shoes were meant for me wtf. Aren't I lucky? Bought it for $29.95 and the usual price was $59.90! #Happygirl98
 Plus, this pair of wedges are my very first pair of high heeled shoes. All my life, for the past 14 years I've being wearing flats so now with my wedges I can be taller ehehehe :> I'm 160cm in that wedges!

To be honest, I really didn't  know what I wanted or Christmas. All of them were "wants" not "needs". ANd there wasn't anything that I desperately wanted. Maybe I would love a 3G plan but nah, not craving for it. So yay you can say I'm happy with my life ^_^ I'M NOT BEING SOUR GRAPES.

Just a confession, I feel kind of jealous when other people (my friends) get better presents than me. Don't you find it so unfair when you get better grades than your friends yet they get presents that are wayyy better than yours? I mean I have this feeling that they don't deserve it at all, given their GPA pfft. Like one girl got a 2.4 GPA and you know what she got? A FUCKING IPHONE 5. Maybe I'm being my selfish self but girl, how could you get an iphone5 with that kind of grades? Another of my classmates got 2.67 and she got a fifth generation itouch! If they can get those gifts, how bout me, a person who got a 3.2 GPA? I probably deserve more right lol. Ok I admit I'm kind of jealous just ignore me I'm not a bad person just ranting my feelings here.

I think I get very pissed/annoyed with this type of "deserving or not" things because I highly respect the value of "You reap what you sow" * Philosophical me strikes again * I feel that it's totally unfair if you work so much harder than other people and get so much better results and in the end they get something better than you! UGH. And the same thing strikes again when people who are supposed to be doing 7 subjects get into a class for 8 subjects. I can't stand people who don't work hard enough getting into the same position of people who worked extremely hard. You don't deserve to be there! It's the survival of the toughest. Yes, I'm aggressive when it comes to results, if you do badly, too bad. That's how it works for me. I JUST DON'T LIKE PEOPLE GETTING MORE THAN THEY DESERVE. Being very agitative now lol.

Happy belated christmas everyone!

Spending my boxing day at the dentist later and then going for tuition fml. I haven't had enough rest from christmas and now there's tuition?! -_-