Weight loss journey (1)

You may think "Oh no not another weight loss blogpost again where this delusional fat idiot fails to lose weigh again -rolls eyes- "

STOOOOP.

I hope this will be the last and final attempt to lose weight.

I feel like a fatass now ; Suddenly everyone who was damn fat lost weight... And I'm like "WOAH WHAT HAPPENED"

I really admire people who have the determination to lose weight *_*

For now, I'll try eating as little carbs as possible, only eating fruits for snacks, no fried food, no putting gravy on sauce (fml i'll miss my curry)

Current weight: 45.7kg or 100.7 pounds FML I'M SO FAT

Goal weight: 42kg or 92 pounds.

Hopefully it'll take 6 weeks? :)

Skinny.

Random pictures to inspire me to get skinny:







My "skinny" idol:

Cheesie! (cheeserland.com)
She's so skinny which makes her legs so long omg jealous *_* And she's only 158cm which means if I slim down I can be her size too cox I'm around her height!

Btw fml I have to go to my gran's house to help her prepare steamboat .__. 4 hours of my studying time will be gone. I was forced by my stupid aunty after she told me that my gran was getting old and what not GAH WHY AM I SO STUPID.

I hope you die.

I FUCKING HATE MY MUM.
SHE'S FUCKING UNREASONABLE. I HOPE SHE BECOMES MUTE SO SHE CAN SHIT HER TRAP AND DIES IN A HOLE.
EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T DIE, I'M GONNA SEND HER TO AN OLD FOLK'S HOME TO LET HER ROT TO DEATH THERE. IT'S HER RETRIBUTION FOR FUCKING HURTING MY FEELINGS.
Doesn't she ever consider how her harsh words can really make people break down and cry? Just a sentence can make me down and I feel like dying again
You make me wanna die.
If I left the world, no one would fucking care about me. Especially my mum.
No one cares.
When I was crying, have you ever comforted me? No, instead you choose to ignore me. Sometimes you scold me because you think I'm just making a big fuss of small things. You think that I'm being a little pussy, crying so easily. Sometimes you even MAKE FUN of me for crying. Never once for the last year you have ever gave me your support, you never really cared about me and understand me. All you care about is my brother, and you never did give your attention to me. I was expected to always give way to my brother just because he's "special", and I was always left out, neglected, lonely, no one to talk to except my friends.
FUCK YOU.
Not that she beats me or anything, but she's really causing my emotional breakdowns and abusing me mentally. Did you know that when I cry, 90% is because of family matters? DO you know how much happier I would have been without you?
You called me stupid today. FOR NOT EATING MY FISH OIL. I really feel like crying now. Do I really look like a little piece of shit to you?
If you see my self-cutting/getting into depression one day, you know why.

Faking smiles.

Is it just me or 2013 is getting worse by the day?
Every week is fucking horrible. Seriously. There can't be a day where I don't feel upset/feel like crying. Everyday, something always disappoints me and lets me down, someone criticizes me, someone scolds me, someone ignores me; it's a never ending whirlwind of negative emotions.
I just feel that it really isn't my fault and you all have to make life difficult for me, not caring if it hurts me or not.
Stupid troubles faced now : SYF, keeping up with studies, friendship problems, stress management problems, family relationships.
I feel that no one really cares about me. I don't know why but I never really felt the true meaning of happiness this year so far.
I feel like I don't exist in their world and treat me as an invisible person.
I feel that everyone communicates with me only because it's necessary.

Like yesterday, my tuition ended at 7.40pm and I wanted to go home for dinner. However apparently they thought I was eating on my own so they didn't buy any dinner for me. They offered to buy dinner for me and then I asked what's there to eat. My mum shouted at me irritatingly and said she was trying to help me but I was wasting time cox I should now what food choices there are. I just hung up.

Ended up eating tauhuay for dinner and felt like crying when walking home (almost, I didn't cry). How could they forget about me, and they didn't even show a hint of remorse and thought that I was in the wrong.

And today I spent $3 on photocopying the stupid poster for bio. And then my mum scolded me, saying I was stupid for not bringing the hard copy and said I could have saved $1.

SERIOUSLY, IS $1 THAT FUCKING IMPORTANT TO YOU?!
And then she gave a whole lecture about how I waste money and told me that we aren't so rich and whatever. Yes as I'm typing I feel like crying.
Is $1 really more important than your daughter?
Fine, let me give you your stupid dollar back and I'll just leave this home, okay? Happy? No one else to waste your money, no one else to irritate/bother you.

Everyday I feel the lump in my throat (when I'm about to cry) and swallow it, because I tell myself that I won't be such a pussy. EVERY FUCKING DAY. I hold back my tears, try to act as if it didn't affect me.

Can't wait to leave this screwed up place when I'm older.

I don't want to live in this kind of misery. Just let me die. I don't see any point of living, crying everyday, being let down.

Troubles.

This week has been a horrible one. Because I almost cried in school on friday and today really made me damn worried.

Things to worry about:
1) Frickin chinese spelling with 35 words fml. I have 3 days to learn all of them
2) Chem pop quiz (not really worried about this but still)
3) FUCKING CHOIR AUDITIONS.

I'm particularly worried about number 3. Because I just learnt on Friday that we had to memorise the score by Monday. I don't know how anyone knows it, I've never heard of this news wtf. Maybe I was daydreaming in choir or smth but I SWEAR I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT. GRR PANICKING NOW. Particularly because I forgot the tune and I can't play the notes on my virtual piano because I have no music background and I can't even play the chords/major.minor scales what not fuck fuck fuck.

I am in the midst of memorising it, but I'm really scared. My voice is still as horrid as ever (yes I'm serious idea why I even got into choir with my shit voice) I'm terrified of the high notes cox no matter how much i try, I just can't do it! In practices it sounds ok but if I hear myself sing it just sounds like a pig being slaughtered/a dog trying to be a cat LOL. OK NO TIME FOR JOKES. And I think it's quite ridiculous to give up on my academics just for choir. Ok I'm being like some bitch right now but it's the truth! I don't wanna fail my chinese spelling just because I was wasting time trying to memorise the stupid score.

My academic results are extremely important to me. On friday I recieved a "B" grade for my math assignment and I was bloody pissed with the math teacher. I know it's my fault for getting a B, but she only gave us one day to do the fucking assignment, ugh and her teaching sucks. Getting this B, which is the first grade i recieved this year, is just a really big blow to me. Since Math takes up about 33% of my overall grade, I'm seriously worrried cox I really don't understand what the damn teacher is talking about and she annoys the crap out of me. During Bio I was also very confused so I was just so frustrated that I almost cried in class. I cry very easily when I'm faced with too much stress *__* What is wrong with me? 2013 has been a horrendous year so far. I really hate my life. I'm terrified that I can't cope with the 8 subjects + CCA this year. Both of them are clashing and I am faced with no choice fml.

Ok bye I don't wanna continue anymore. I have been in a bad mood for the past few days (although I don't look like I am.)

I Got A Boy by SNSD - K-pop review

In case you were living in a cave, SNSD's new single "I Got A Boy" was released on 1st Jan 2013! :) Has been really long since their last comeback in Oct 2011! So I was pretty excited about it since I saw all the teasers and stuff.


To be honest, I was really confused and did not ship the song when I first heard it.


Cox I had no idea what it was talking about, there were 3 different completely tunes in the song, I don't get the meaning of the boy inside the video, I DON'T GET ANYTHING.

And then I had to watch it at least 5 times to get the song. But I still don't get the meaning of the song.

But who cares anyway I don't really get the meaning of 90% of k-pop songs, because it is supposed to be like that. You know, don't expect a meaningful song with sentimental lyrics in the k-pop world.. Nah not gonna happen. Only minority of the songs are actually meaningful.

Found the meaning of the song online:

The song is themed about a girl who has a boyfriend:

The intro : the girl glams herself up for the boy and her friends are talking about it.

The first part: 3rd person reaction to the boy asking the girl out

The second part: The girl on the date.

The thrid (cutesy part): The girl telling her friends about him.

The fourth part: The girl is angry because the boy did something she didn't like

The fifth part ( Jessica's bridge ): She forgives gives him and wants him to stay with her forever.

WHAT? Still don't get it but it'd okay ^_^

I love SNSD's costumes and they look so funky and to the tomboy-ish side. Kind of reminds me of f(x), the rock/punk style.

They look at a phone. A boy just texted them

So there's this rap by Sooyoung and Yuri. "AYO GG"

I thought it was kind of redundant, but fine it's still cute. They are acting very badass and stuff lol.

And then they put on their caps and Tiffany the gangsta comes up saying
"HEEEEERE COMES TROUBLE!"

And there's this awkward "AWHHHH" -_- Sounds like the sound you give when you finish pooping WTF. Ignore me.

Why do they have to wear contacts?! I think their natural eye colour is perfect! Why do you need lenses? Sorry I just don't like them wearing lenses it makes them look weird. It made f(x) weird too.


As an honest sone for 2 years I must say that the lenses look totally unnatural on them SORRY NOT SORRY, And you know what, I absolutely can't stand seohyun wearing eye enlarging lenses which makes her look like some big eyed person .__.

My favourite dance move:

The dubstep-ish part :)

Now I'm gonna talk about their hair. Sunny and Hyoyeon caught my attention the most:


First thing when I saw Sunny's hair : TOP. I always refer TOP to the "green-haired-guy" since I can't differentiate the guys in any guy group LOL, so I immediately thought of that.



Is it just me or Sunny's hair always reminds me of someone -_- Her purple hair reminds me of xiaxue, a singaporean blogger (;


Hyoyeon's hair looks like a paddlepop posicle. LOVE. I WANT HAIR LIKE THAT.

And I must say, their teaser pictures are REALLY GOOD. All of them look really gorgeous. I also like their new concept of a wild style, something that is different from their previous comebacks! Their outfits are okay too but I don't think a normal people could pull it off - outrageous prints, crop tops, sexy outfits.


Anyway, I still super love this new song although it's a little flawed. I must say that they look is pretty and perfect as ever! Their bodies are omg *_*

My rate: 1000000000/10 (Yes this is coming from a SONE so please understand.)

Fine, my unbiased rate: 8.5/10! <3

The ultimate shopping guide for Bangkok!

Managed to move my lazy ass and start up on this post!

We went to quite a few places to shop:
1) MBK
2) Terminal 21
3) Night markets
4) Platinum Fashion Mall
5) Bonanza Mall (Opposite MBK building)

Out of all these malls, I highly recommend night markets, MBK and Bonanza Mall.

Being really money concious a miserly person who cares about my money, I would go there because its clothes are nice and cheap ^_^

Gonna show you my hauls:

TERMINAL 21
For Terminal 21, I bought a sheer sleeveless top. It was my first day there so I was desperate to buy something. Bought it for $16, I thought it was ok-ily priced since Singapore's prices are about the same. I kind of regretted buying it though, cox you can get tops like these HALF THE PRICE at other places!!! However, it's a nice piece and it's very easy to match with other bottoms!

Terminal 21 is a super duper mega big shopping centre with 9 storeys. And each floor has its own theme according to their country. Eg. Japanese floor sells Jap. clothes, Rome floor sells rome stuff etc. Kind of like your typical orchard shopping centre, extremely modern. Also quite posh, with hagen daz and other posh eateries HAHA.

The best part is the toilets are also decorated according to the theme! Cool right! Actually visited some of the floors JUST to see the toilets! Great camwhoring place lol!

Every level has its own theme!

 Yes, this is a japanese themed toilet.

Even the cubicles also jap. themed one.

London subway themed toilet

Cute cubicles again. *_*

I feel that the stuff at Terminal 21 is on the higher side compared to the other shopping centres. At least for me who is a typical tourist looking for cheap and good clothing. The clothes there are quite nice, but the price is quite expensive to me, be prepared to spend around $20 for MOST of the shops cox I think the clothes are shipped all they way from another country, and some of them are branded too! I saw a jap. shop selling Liz Lisa and other famous jap. brands O_O

If you are lucky you can find a store with cheap stuff lah, but quite rare if you ask me. And the cheap stuff full of 100 baht stuff are usually ugly. #justsaying. I think you are paying for the brand. If you like high quality stuff, you should go to terminal 21!

Buys:

Found in the japanese floor but doesn't look jap. O_O

MBK

MBK is also another massive shopping centre! There are many shops selling different items from food to beauty to clothing to electronics to furniture! Really a lot! I recommend you go to the directory and search for what you want, cox it's soooo big you may get lost there. I recommend you to go to the levels with many mini stalls! They don't really have any brand so it's much cheaper compared to the normal retail shops! What I recommend most are the t-shirts/tank tops! They have really cool designs that are cute, hipster-ish and also downright offensive ones -_-  Actually have a lot of offensive ones lolol. One of the t-shirts has a topless girl back facing and then giving the finger -_- which really annoyed because it's so irritating and also rude. I DON'T LIKE STUFF THAT ARE IN-YOUR-FACE Y'KNOW.

Plus if you buy stuff from the mini stalls right, you can bargain :D Depending on how nice the shop keeper is. You should bargain only if you think it's overpriced, cox some owners think they can make extra cash by overcharging foreigners! But pplease ah, don't bargain if the shirt is already less than $8, very cheapskate HAHA.

Owl and 7-11 tank top for $6 each. I've a feeling I won't wear the 7-11 one cox it looks hobo-ish -_-

Pink Esprit purse (Imitation) for $24 and purple purse for $14

Time for my interesting story of my bargaining experience lai lai lai!

Initially the esprit purse was priced about $40, which is bloody expensive. I bargained like some shit and then I pretended to leave. And then the guy said he'll chrge me $24 only ^_^ YAYYY. If you wonder why it's so expensive, it's made out of real leather and ALMOST the same as the real one, except it's not truly made by esprit, well cox it's not the true brand.

NIGHT MARKETS

Night markets are pretty amazing. There is a really great variety of clothes there, their clothes are mostly priced $8 and below, super duper cheap!

Denim cropped top for $6! CAN''T YOU BELIEVE IT THIS BEAUTY IS WORTH $6 *_* I have been looking for such a top since last month!

PLATINUM FASHION MALL

Another mega large mall (again.), I was told that the shops there were supplier shops to the other stall owners so they may sell stuff at a cheaper price. Saw many thais carrying ginomous bags/luggage bags to haul stuff.

I didn't find much great buys there.. Hmm.. Not really my taste plus it was not exactly cheap, must of them were $8.. Maybe it was an unlucky day wtf. Still managed to buy some stuff.

Skirt for $8, floral shorts for $8 :)

BONANZA MALL

I SWEAR I LOVED THIS MALL THE MOST! Really.

It's kind of like a mini bugis street, quite small mall, only 3 levels. But I swear its shops are really awesome! Just look at the number of shorts I bought there lol.

Purple and yellow shorts for $8 each, high waisted shorts for $11, spiky shorts for $11

Super love them!<3 However the purple shorts and yellow shorts were bloody tight, either because I'm too fat or smth. Kind of can see the cameltoe thing except without the camel shape. T_T Plus, THAT WAS A SIZE M WTF. And I felt that my butt was gonna be exposed god damnit. Starting to doubt what is my real size lol. But I think it should go well with crop tops and bikini tops (although I don't even own one)

Random, but when is it age appropriate to own a bikini? I know people in the west start wearing bikinis when they're quite young, but as conservative Asians, if you wear bikini to beach confirm get a lot of disapproving stares. And then people will call you slutty -_- I think people in Sg only start wearing them when they are 18 wtf.

The rest of the shorts are extremely comfortable and i super love them! I finally have a pair of high waisted shorts <3 Thank god that I didn't buy the ones at cotton on which cost freaking $34.95!

In case you didn't know, let me warn you, the sizes there are EXTREMELY SMALL. Cox the people at Bangkok are super skinny! For a person like me who wears a size XS at cotton on, can't fit into an S size in F21 and wears S for practically everything, I was shattered into s million pieces after I found out that I couldn't wear an S size in Bangkok FML x 10000. My butt (or hips) is a size 34-36 so yeah.

Random pics of me wearing the hauls :)

my waist looks small here hooray ^_^

Anyway, some final words of advice:

1) Don't be afraid to bargain, cox the customer is always right! Insist if you really want it, and then pretend to walk away if they refuse. Most owners will call you back cox they don't wanna lose any customers.

2)If you aren't sure of what size to wear, feel free to approach to owners, most of them are very friendly ^_^ Some of them will even help you measure! 

Omg finally I'm done I actually took a lot of effort to write this so proud of myself.

School is reopening so I won't be so active on my blog! :'(