Always the same things.

The first two weeks of the holidays have been..torturing.
You wanna know why?
Because of choir.
I had to enlarge, bold, italic and underline it, thank you.
You know what, I had 5 practices from 8am-4pm.
Which equates to 40 fucking hours in school!!
Ok maybe the lunch part didn't count, but this leaves us with 35 hours!
I find math homework more fun than it actually.

So we had this "grouptionals" thing where you sing in groups of 8, which is kind of scary. Imagine only 2 people in your section, and you must rely on your own.
And if you sing badly, people will judge you. They think you're a liability, they think you're of no use to the choir, and most of all they think you're a two-faced,  irresponsible and probably no talent to sing at all.
I have developed this fear of octets since year one. I don't mind singing in octets, but the problem is I can't hit the high notes! I'm in soprano and those notes are really high. Mygod why did I get into soprano.

*Flashback to March 2011*
I was singing for the SYF auditions and I only joined in January, I was new, I didn't know what to expect. To make things worse, the conductor only wanted 4 people to sing at a time.
Obviously I sang badly because the fact that I've only joined for 2 MONTHS. I could feel the embarrassment as my cheeks burned and I could feel everyone judging me and stuff.
So a bunch of year ones and I failed, I think 80% of the year ones failed? And then one of the music comm members (I shall not say who) started scolding us. Like raging at us as if we committed a crime. "What do you think this kind of standard is this? Is this what you want for the choir?" blah blah. I was super annoyed and thinking, what do you expect from people who only has been here for 2 fucking months, huh? Huh?!

And then the comm people, namely the president and vice presidents will start nagging at us about how our standard has dropped and be like, "Oh don't come crying if we get a silver later. For your standard I don't think we can even get a bronze." So demoralizing. And the cycle continues as the next committee takes over. It's always the same old words. See what happens when the seniors learn from the juniors? So in May 2011 there was handover and a new committee taken over.

At first I was like, "Aww the year 3 2011 look so nice!" But later they turned into such strict people wtf. Especially the president, keep giving the bushuang glare lol. And I'm pretty sure she gives the glare to everyone.

So there was concert this year in May and we had octets too. And then they went on to nag again. Once again, it's always the same words, threatening, making us feel shame.
 "What do you think of this? Do you want to present this in concert? Do you think people will want to pay $10 for this concert? Even if the concert was free, I also wouldn't want to go! It's a waste of my time."
I swore they said something like this! I was like fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. Go fuck yourself. Stupid committee. They also wanted threatened that they will take us out of concert if we don't sing properly. And then they really took people off stage for one of the musical-play, except they said that because it was too cramped. Bullshit. Why is there a need to audition? Calm your tits, this is a CCA, we are not some professional performing group such as the Vienna Boys and what not. No one really cares if we got a note wrong or sing sharp/flat. In reality, as long as the song sounds legit and seems like proper music, they don't care. If they one perfect music, ask them to spend at least $100 plus for a professional one, or even $200 plus! I feel that everyone should have a chance to perform as if you don't let the juniors perform, it's kind of demoralizing to them and they'll hate choir even more. That's what happened to me, btw. They joined choir to perform for others. Imagine the pissed-off-ness when you've been practicing the bloody song for 6 months and you suddenly tell them that they are not allowed to perform 2 months before the concert, well, go screw yourselves! Why do they need to be so fucking uptight about it? They should think about our commitment, at least we go for these agonizing practices, I think I have perfect attendance ok. I should pon choir next time!!

For example, if you went to a piano recital and have not much musical background you would have thought that your friend who is performing played very well, when in reality, he tells you that he played a few keys wrongly. And then you'll be puzzled, thinking to yourself, huh, but it sounded so normal and nice! I didn't hear any mistakes! The same case in an EDS concert. For many people who do not have a background of hip-hop, if a dancer misses a move you probably wouldn't have noticed it because you are totally clueless in hip-hop and you think that everything that dancers do are cool, so there you go!

And also, I wonder where the ticket sales go to. I know at least 500 guests were there, so $5000 was made.Eh excuse me, we are performers, at least give us $2 each as our commission okay, we must have put in don't-know-how-many-hours in it! Making use of our efforts eh? 

Oh, back to reality.

So this year in June another new comm has stepped up, I think they're a bit nicer but once again, I told you juniors learn from seniors right? They've also continued with the nagging with almost the exact same message.
 They always say that "Everyone makes a difference." and be all positive and shit and draw out rainbows. But I don't think I do. I can hardly be heard. To be honest, I think only the loud ones make a difference. For someone like me who sings softly, no one really appreciates my existence. 

So after the octets, they nagged again saying "Is this what you want to present for SYF? Who will be proud of presenting this? Do you think you still can get your gold with honors? If you think you are proud of performance, raise your hands." 

Of course no one raised their hands lah! You don't say. Actually I think this comm is much nicer than the previous one, just saying that they should quit nagging, although I believe it's absolutely impossible to stop it.

I bet the same thing will happen after the SYF auditions too, and then it will happen after the SYF too. It's like we will never be satisfied.

In my primary school choir, we were all happy. Although I only had one close friend, I still had fun. We were allowed to read books and even use our handphones secretly wtf. The conductor was super nice and rarely got angry at us. And you know what, although we went sharp, we still got gold with honors, so this proves my point that a happy choir is a good choir.

Ok this is the end of my really long rant. I realised this post in 1261 words long! Cool right! :))