Shall summarise today.
Choir practice.
PT was totally horrible cox I don't know what's wrong with my body but for the first time in don't-know-how-many-months I kena-ed the punishment fml. I think cox I felt like puking and ran 40 minutes right after eating brekkie -_-
Was really torturous singing for 3 hours and then had lunch :D Had apple juice and my cereal bar.
And then the rest was pretty slack cox we all had to wait outside for the SH choir so we played ball games. Had this masterclass for only 1 hour which was really really short.
Later had dress fitting and then I decided I must slim down to make my waste look more prominent :D And The dress was lose cox my boobs are damn small hahaha seriously my bust is less than 32 inches or smth wtf.
And then later at night my mum said I have to gain weight until 46kg fml. Ok I'm about the approach a really awkward topic so mind me. I haven't got my first period yet. Yeah, when everyone gets their period at 12/13 I HAVEN'T GOT MINE YET WTF. The nurses at the HPB during health check up warned me about it and told me that I needed to go for a referral but they have never gotten back to me heng ah.
So today my mum went back from the doctor's checkup and she said that I'm not having my period cox i'm underweight (She checked with the doctor) She made me calculate my bmi which was around 18. Actually the BMI system is for adults lor, not teens. Used another website to calculate my BMI and it's perfectly fine. If I'm underweight, that means confirm 50% of people are underweight right? Since almost everyone is skinnier than me :P But I hope I get it soon! God please let my period come I pray I don't care about the cramps. I mean it's really awkward when your girlfriends are discussing about how horrendous periods are and then you just sit there awkwardly nodding and smiling :( And I'm scared next time I can't conceive WTF THAT WOULD BE THEM SAD.
So she said I must gain weight or else I won't get it and I may have to see a gynaecologist by the end of this year :( Save me please I don't want anyone looking up my disgusting vagina that's so wrong. And then if I still don't get it I must draw blood to examine my homorones wtfwtf so kuazhang right. Idk lah.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Weight loss journey (part 2)
It's almost been a month.. Not really making progress but getting the hang of it.
Now I'm 43.8kg. At least now I'm below 44. But I really wanna go to 42 :( my weight when I was sec 2.
Well although it's only about 2kg of weight loss at least I lost 4% of my body weight? (Yay.)
But I'm really sad now cox yesterday I ate with the girls at Thai Express and really ate alot :( Oh no. And somemore I didn't feel full when all of them were full. Obviously my appetite is quite screwed.
Cannot eat carbs anymore. Cut down my carbs by a lot and now for dinner I eat less than 3 spoons of rice. Oh man, now it's even harder to lose weight during the holidays cox obviously I have to cut down on meals without my mum noticing.. Or else she'll just slaughter me for dieting.
PLAN: Eat as less as possible during choir camp. Shall eat a cereal bar for lunch with fruit only since no one will really monitor me outside school lol *_* Then I won't be able to snack cox there's choir. Ok I can do it.
Shall eat 饭菜 for the rest of the days for lunch and only eat broccoli, long beans and egg. YAY.
Let's hope I can be 42kg by the end of April :)) I'm going for a medical check up on 26 March so must lose weight by then *_*
Have been feeling damn cranky these days. Perhaps it's the lack of food. I got quite pissed whenever someone gives me more food. Really ruins my diet plan although I know they mean well and I keep thinking their trying to ruin my plan, i know I'm mad. Also, I get especially angry when people remark "YOU EAT SO LITTLE AH?" or "YOU ON DIET AH?" So what, like it's your business? I hate people poking into my food affairs and making comments on what I eat. It's rude. And then when I felt like I ate a lot I would be super moody at myself. Going crazy. I always get angry on Saturday cox it's my aunt's tuition. Her tuition starts at 5pm ends fucking late at 8pm. She thinks I'm okay with eating late so I got damn pissed. I mean it's a good thing that I get to skip meals but the problem is I have to eat dinz after that so that means I'll have bloating wtf. SO yeah, I think dieting is ruining my mental health. And no, I have no mental disorders, perfectly fine.
I think I really look damn fat. I hate my legs and my stomach. My stomach is still as flabby as ever and I need a flat tummy. I will continue to lose weight untio I get a flat tummy plus I reach my 42kg goal. I really hate my legs. I'm a pear shaped body so I have wider hips = thicker thighs = fatter legs. Sigh.
Shall do weight loss tips until I lose weight successfully HAHA.
And I'm glad I passed the audits :) But the comm said it was temporary so the conductor has the right to take us out WTF. He said we can't be too happy unless we thought we performed our best during the auditions. And then he kind of contradicted himself by saying that the people who didn't pass shouldn't feel bad -_- So serious for what.
It's like giving us a cake. And then this stupid guy says that although you will have a chance to eat the cake, the cake may just splat on your face or they may just take your cake away -_- Ok someone give me a good analogy.
And I'm really not coping well with my school. I failed my Chinese test, my LA is terrible, my physics and Bio are okay, my chem is one of the lowest in class :( I just can't stand the disappointment when I recieve my results. Why do I score lower than those who studied only the day before? I really put in a lot of effort.
Cried don't know how many times this year. Sigh.
Now I'm 43.8kg. At least now I'm below 44. But I really wanna go to 42 :( my weight when I was sec 2.
Well although it's only about 2kg of weight loss at least I lost 4% of my body weight? (Yay.)
But I'm really sad now cox yesterday I ate with the girls at Thai Express and really ate alot :( Oh no. And somemore I didn't feel full when all of them were full. Obviously my appetite is quite screwed.
Cannot eat carbs anymore. Cut down my carbs by a lot and now for dinner I eat less than 3 spoons of rice. Oh man, now it's even harder to lose weight during the holidays cox obviously I have to cut down on meals without my mum noticing.. Or else she'll just slaughter me for dieting.
PLAN: Eat as less as possible during choir camp. Shall eat a cereal bar for lunch with fruit only since no one will really monitor me outside school lol *_* Then I won't be able to snack cox there's choir. Ok I can do it.
Shall eat 饭菜 for the rest of the days for lunch and only eat broccoli, long beans and egg. YAY.
Let's hope I can be 42kg by the end of April :)) I'm going for a medical check up on 26 March so must lose weight by then *_*
Have been feeling damn cranky these days. Perhaps it's the lack of food. I got quite pissed whenever someone gives me more food. Really ruins my diet plan although I know they mean well and I keep thinking their trying to ruin my plan, i know I'm mad. Also, I get especially angry when people remark "YOU EAT SO LITTLE AH?" or "YOU ON DIET AH?" So what, like it's your business? I hate people poking into my food affairs and making comments on what I eat. It's rude. And then when I felt like I ate a lot I would be super moody at myself. Going crazy. I always get angry on Saturday cox it's my aunt's tuition. Her tuition starts at 5pm ends fucking late at 8pm. She thinks I'm okay with eating late so I got damn pissed. I mean it's a good thing that I get to skip meals but the problem is I have to eat dinz after that so that means I'll have bloating wtf. SO yeah, I think dieting is ruining my mental health. And no, I have no mental disorders, perfectly fine.
I think I really look damn fat. I hate my legs and my stomach. My stomach is still as flabby as ever and I need a flat tummy. I will continue to lose weight untio I get a flat tummy plus I reach my 42kg goal. I really hate my legs. I'm a pear shaped body so I have wider hips = thicker thighs = fatter legs. Sigh.
Shall do weight loss tips until I lose weight successfully HAHA.
And I'm glad I passed the audits :) But the comm said it was temporary so the conductor has the right to take us out WTF. He said we can't be too happy unless we thought we performed our best during the auditions. And then he kind of contradicted himself by saying that the people who didn't pass shouldn't feel bad -_- So serious for what.
It's like giving us a cake. And then this stupid guy says that although you will have a chance to eat the cake, the cake may just splat on your face or they may just take your cake away -_- Ok someone give me a good analogy.
And I'm really not coping well with my school. I failed my Chinese test, my LA is terrible, my physics and Bio are okay, my chem is one of the lowest in class :( I just can't stand the disappointment when I recieve my results. Why do I score lower than those who studied only the day before? I really put in a lot of effort.
Cried don't know how many times this year. Sigh.
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