A little self reflection

Today was a bad day. It was April Fools but it's a pity I didn't bother to prepare anything :( Oh and tried to switch classes with 3L but I missed it cox I was in the toilet HAHAH. And then we tried to call Ms LIm "Mummy" but apparently she didn't hear as properly :( Didn't get pranked also! Ohmygod my life is so boring.

And then choir practice was really horrible. Cox today we went to the audi to sing today. Ends up we screwed up badly for one of the songs and then we gave up. Well not really, we still continued but you get what I mean.

Later the conductor gave us a lecture on how we shouldn't give up and yada yada. She asked how many people continued fighting on despite the setback and of course the whole choir raised their hand -_-To be honest, I kind of "broke down", I didn't stop singing, but my voice kind of grew softer. However I was really too embarrassed to say it out. Of course I'll only dare to write it here.

And then she started asking if we should have re auditions again and then I OBVIOUSLY DID NOT SUPPORT LAH. I mean everyone in the SYF choir has already worked hard to pass the auditions, and since everyone has spent their time and effort going for choir pracs, why should we destroy someone's wish of being on stage? And I think it's extremely ridiculous to take someone out of a competition LESS THAN A WEEK BEFORE THE ACTUAL COMPETITION. I mean you've worked your asses off for months and then you suddenly receive the news that you're not suitable for the competition? I'll obviously be damn pissed and ask them to go screw themselves *_* Sorry I'm being really mean but I really find this logic unreasonable.

For me, I feel that happiness is equals to being able to perform on SYF. If YOU did your best, you shouldn't care about how others people did. As long as you put in your everything, I think that is enough already, I'll be able to walk off stage happily. But being able to perform in SYF is a good thing already lorh. SEE SEE SEE I TOLD YOU THE CHANGING OF RULES DIDN'T MAKE SENSE, IT'S STILL THE SAME.

We should be nice and let everyone on stage! :D ALthough it's not good for the whole choir, at least everyone is happy that they get a chance to participate!

Something that one of the seniors said really got me thinking, "You're fighting hard enough, but you're fighting hard to get a place in SYF, not fighting to perform well for the choir."

I really think that's true, cox I'm doing that. During the mini reauditions, I always seriously giving my all and pushing myself as much as possible, all because I wanted a place for SYF. Of course, it's human nature. As humans, we are all selfish. Imagine there are 30 people in the room and only 24 buns left, of course everyone will fight for it. Who wants to sacrifice themselves for the good of others? No way. Yeah, so I guess fear is the only way to push us and make us go faster I guess :P So I'm gonna use this fear to push myself even more *_*

3 more practices to SYF, I hope it goes well.

PS: I'm getting back chinese papers tmr, wish me luck okay I think I'm gonna cry in school tmr. I pray so badly that I won't fail after that scare months ago.

Also, my chinese tutor just gave birth wtf, on the same day as xiaxue. So she won't be able to give me tution for a month. I guess that can be a good thing because I want to see if I still can cope without her, cox honestly she hasn't really been putting in much effort. I guess after a certain period of time people just slack off thinking you're ok with it?